


Confrontation

by Malana



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thick of It (UK)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-15
Updated: 2012-10-15
Packaged: 2017-11-16 08:13:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/537362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malana/pseuds/Malana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil is sent to collect one of Malcolm's staff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confrontation

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt fill over on LJ. Someone wanted Malcolm vs. Phil.

"You're nae fuckin' taking her."

"Mr. Tucker, that's really not your decision."

Malcolm glared at the man. "Everything is my fucking decision. And if you try to put your poxy cunt hands on her, things are rapidly going to become less pleasant around here."

Phil Coulson remained straight-faced. "Sir, I really don't think that kind of language is necessary."

"Don't talk to me about necessary. When you come here and claim that you've got to take one of my people away, I find this language very fuckin' necessary. "

"Mr. Tucker, Ms. Cassidy has developed extraordinary powers. If she doesn't get help in learning to control them, she is a danger to herself and others."

"Sam is nae a fucking danger. She's learning to control it on her own."

Agent Coulson's companion spoke. "Did not the young lady set half of your parlament ablaze?"

Malcolm's glare moved to the speaker. "Oi! No one was hurt, alright? It wasnae that bad." He jabbed the man sharply in his armor-plated chest. "Just bugger off and leave her alone. We'll sort it."

Phil laid a restraining hand on his companion's shoulder. "I understand you feel strongly about this, but generally speaking you shouldn't poke a god in the chest."

Malcolm waved a dismissive hand. "Oh no, did I make the god of girly-hair mad? Look, mate. I don't care how big your hammer is. Who the fuck carries around a hammer anyway, you look fuckin' ridiculous."

Malcolm pointed to his outer-office. "Sam is out there, crying, because she think's you two pieces of rotten shite are going to take her away and lock her up in some lab. Well, that is not going to fucking happen. "

Thor turned to Phil. "Is the maiden truly crying?" He shook his head. "I do not like to cause women to weep."

Malcolm rolled his eyes. "If you don't fuck out of my office this second, I will dedicate my life to fucking you. Do you understand that? Every newspaper in the world will be writing spotlight articles on the Strategic fucking Homeland fucking Intervention, fucking Enforcement and fucking Logistics cock-sucking Division. You won't be able to move for the red-tape that will occur. The inquiries that will happen. A covert international government organization that kidnaps innocent British citizens? I will rain down a shit-storm upon you that will make you wish for an alien invasion."

Agent Coulson smiled a little as he reached down to pick up his briefcase. "All right."

Malcolm's gaze narrowed. "What do you mean 'all right'?"

Phil shrugged. "Just that. Come on, Thor, let's go."

Malcolm watched as the two men left his office, making sure they didn't harass Sam on the way out. He swore that fucker Thor actually bowed. 

Once out in the corridor, Phil put a hand to his earpiece. "Fury, it's Coulson. We're going to have to go to Plan B."


End file.
